However, it's important to note that no one has an automatic right to contact. I suggest calling the helplines, reading the act mentioned above, reading the paper below and then presenting it calmly as "this is what I think is best for our daughter at the moment" and explaining why. As your ex-partner's contact with your daughter has declined to a few hours a week, we would recommend, instead of jumping to overnight stays, that you both work on an agreement that sees contact gradually building up.". At what age do I have to - Answered by a verified Family Lawyer It isn't fair to expect you travel up to his parents every time, and I would say your baby is def too young to be away from you overnight. But i think its not right that shes away from me overnight. I say we need to move slow, that it will be traumatic for our son. I've spent the weekend at his mums with him and lily. When supplying the numbers for the child support calculation, the father can only deduct a miniscule amount for the children with his new wife, yet his ex is awarded an inequitable, top-heavy amount for the children from their former union. But it is that he isnt in control of how Lily grows up - But at the end of the day thats not my fault. I THink shes too young to beaway from me, i have no problem with him taking her out for the day i will happily go to my mums for the day [which is about half hour form his]. My partner and I separated before I realised I was pregnant. That is exactly what i said pamela - i explained that i am not for one minute saying i think hes not capable of looking after her - i wouldnt let anyone even if theyed raised a hundred babies perfectly without a single mistake i would not let them take my baby overnight! I am also going through custody and the father wants overnight all weekend and he lives three hours away. Just so you know, we may earn a commission if you buy something we’ve linked to here. Sorry for the long post and thankyou in advance for any thoughts or comments x. When do you think is a suitable age for him to take her overnight? We both wanted to keep the baby but decided not to rekindle the relationship. Really at a loss he seems to really disagree with me. Mummy2charlie you are right - Although hes not like a control freak as such - He wouldnt ever tell me i can or cannot do something i want to do such as go out with my friends etc. I Live with my dad, where he is always welcome to come and stay at the weekends. Can you please give me some resources that I can take to court? Annalisa regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence. which doesnt get me anywhere but does make me feel better it is just so stressfull with him! I would stick to what you are doing, going to his parents and sharing the time you and him both have with her. Posted 26/05/2009. BabyCenter aims to share products and services we hope you’ll find interesting and helpful. Gingerbread said: "The welfare and best interests of a child are the most important considerations when coming to a contact agreement. C, via email. The baby is too small for that, I don't even like him taking the baby away for more than 3 hours, I just feel bad and I think that it's too stressful for the baby to be away from his mum at such a young age. Well i would tell him he has no choice but to stay at yours for the weekend or just take her for days out. If you are breastfeeding, this could support your argument for your daughter to stay with you at the moment and for visits to be conducted at your home. Thank you! Please flag if you think our product match is incorrect. He isn't your boss, he sounds like he likes to be in control but being a parent is not about control it is about doing your best for the baby and he needs to learn how to do that. This is such an important time and I don't think it would do you or her good to be away from each other every weekend or so. However, he left two weeks after the birth, complaining about, among other things, lack of sleep. But as your daughter and her father have not really had much chance to bond (despite your best intentions) and she is so little, I think they need to build up this bond with frequent daytime visits until you feel comfortable with her going to stay overnight. You can't refuse contact because they don't pay sufficient, or any, maintenance. Your ex is legally bound to pay the statutory entitlement until your daughter is at least 16. when i found out i was pregnant, his dad tried to force me to get rid of the baby and made my life hell. Dehra Mitchell, a psychotherapist and chair of fpct.org, pointed me in the direction of a paper called "Special considerations for infants and toddlers in separation/divorce" by Jennifer E McIntosh (June 2011). I am very close to my stepdaughter now and I think its because I was there a lot when she was a baby and would even go so far as to say she gets on with me better than her mum! I will send you a copy, but you can also find it on the web. he lives in cheshire.. about 2 hours from me and works a hell of a lot through theweek. He said fie ill have lily on the weekends. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I consulted all three before replying to you. Your daughter is very young and this has to play an important part in negotiations with your ex-partner. maybe he will get bored of hearing it and pack in, or maybe ill just have to put up with repeating myself to him till i feel shes old enough!!! I urge you to try to sort things out without resorting to court and I know you want that too. Her safety and welfare are all that matter at the end of the day, so if he isn't willing to make any compromises and at least meet you half way, maybe its time to stop being quite so reasonable and just politely but firmly tell him how its going to be? He told me he'd lost his job and moved to stoke, Then when i got sick of being on my own and moved back to nottingham because i felt i had no one there - i wanted my friends i needed some kindof support emotionally, he told me he'd moved to scotland [his parents have a house there too]. It's great that your partner wants to be involved. Family law is rightly concerned with what's best for the child – set out in the Children Act 1989, specifically Section 1: the Welfare of the Child. There's plenty of time for overnight stays in the future, when they are more used to each other. I understand he wants to see her but he can't expect to have her overnight just yet. Our daughter is only nine weeks old and I am finding it very difficult to let her go. Hope this helps a bit from the other point of view! Hii, Some of you may know my situation - i'm not 'with' my daughters dad. Personally I wouldn't be letting him have her overnight yet. Personally I could never understand why she let her come and sleep at such a young age as I never would. Only files 8MB or smaller of the following types are supported: JPEG, PNG, GIF. Sorry i'm crashing from dec 09 but i have a 2 year old ds. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. he lives in cheshire.. about 2 hours from me and works a hell of a lot through theweek. This product is displayed based on comments within this post. But he wont do this - he hasnt given me a reason just says no everytime i ask him. It's for a few hours now but soon he wants to start taking him for overnight stays which I think is outrageous. In one case, for example, a father has two children with his current wife, each providing a $200 deduction. He has told me to get over it and is threatening to reduce financial support unless I agree.
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